Don’t Look a Gift Car in the Mouth
They always say, ‘Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth’.
And I didn’t.
I did, however, look under the hood.
I’m not much for change. After all, I have driven my ’07 Toyota Corolla for about eighteen years. I’ve hit multiple deer, had flat tires, endured equipment failures, and lost numerous sets of hubcaps which raced me down the highway once they jumped ship.
And the car keeps going.
My car does not want to die, and I don’t want to kill it.
Suffice to say, I do not like change…
...unless change is thrust upon me.
I found out in July that my son Alexander was going to buy a new car, so I gave him a call. I asked how much he’d get for his old car on a trade-in. He told me not much, and that he would just give the car to me.
Very generous on his part, for sure, but then he added:
“Not sure if you want this car, Dad,” he said, “it has almost two hundred and twenty thousand miles on it.”
In July the odometer of my Toyota Corolla was about to roll over to three hundred thousand miles, so I pulled off the main road to take a picture.
I never took a picture.
Why?
Because on Toyota Corollas the odometer stops at 299,999.
That was in July, two and a half years ago. I’m sure it’s somewhere north of 350K by now.
So yes, if you give me a car with 220K, I will hang a pine tree air freshener from the rear view mirror for that new car smell.
Jump ahead to a few weeks ago, and my son bought his new car. He left his old one at his mom’s house until I could complete the paperwork to transfer ownership.
I thought that would be the hard part.
Boy, was I wrong.
I went to the New Jersey Motor Vehicle Commission with my new insurance card and walked out with the new title, registration, and plates in less than fifteen minutes.
I put all the paperwork in the car, then replaced the front plate with the new one. I went to replace the back plate and turned the first screw…
...and it turned, and turned, and turned, but never came out. The screw was stripped, so I had to wait on replacing the back plate.
I stepped into the car to start it and got nothing.
The car had been sitting in his mom’s driveway for so long, the battery needed a jump.
I had jumper cables, but they were in the trunk, and with the dead battery I could not pop it open.
I long for the days when all you needed was a key to get into your car.
I called Triple-A and a technician came out to jump the battery, but the battery would not jump.
The battery was dead and gone, and never coming back.
I bought a new battery, and with that, the car sprang to life…
...but the old license plate was still attached. The technician could not get it off.
At least I was able to drive the car. It was my first time behind the wheel, hoping against hope that a police officer did not notice my front plate was different from my back plate.
Off to my mechanic I went.
But my mechanic was not there (of course). So I headed home with mismatched plates, ready to fight another day.
And that another day morning greeted me with a check tire pressure message on my dashboard.
So back to my mechanic I went. He was there this time, and he put air in my tires, but still could not take that damn plate off. He needed to order a part for the license plate since he was going to cut the old piece off.
In the interim, he screwed the new plate over the old one.
Law enforcement, here I come.
That night I was going to head into town to watch the tree lighting.
I hit the button on the fob to unlock the doors.
Nothing.
What the hell? I just put in a new car battery.
Well, it turned out it was the battery after all…
...the battery in the car fob, not the car.
I replaced the fob battery, and everything was back to normal.
And by normal, I mean I woke to this message on my dashboard:
Catalyst System Efficiency Below Threshold Bank 1.
I looked it up. It was nothing serious, but really, c’mon.
I cleared the error and, so far, it has not come back.
It’s been a few days now, with me driving a really nice car, (gifted by my generous son Alexander), which is way above my pay grade. It has bells and whistles that I never knew I wanted (but now I do).
The kicker to all this change?
I didn’t look a gift horse in the mouth…
...but still can’t get the back license plate off.
