conflict and scotch

Love, Marriage, and 
Divorce doesn't 
Necessarily
Happen in that Order

New: Who Gets The Friends in a Divorce?

During a divorce a couple naturally starts the process of dividing their assets. Who knows how many hours are fought over who gets to keep the battered bedroom furniture they had since their first apartment (the husband) or the brand new fifteen thousand dollar living room set that upon purchase was promptly quartered off because it was just too damn nice to use (the wife). While all that is going on there is one more question that needs to be asked:


Who gets the friends in a divorce?


next up: My daughter's career choices: Journalist, Doctor, or Pet Photographer

i may be the only parent that insists that their child NOT become a doctor...

How Much for Those Cherished Memories

There are certain things I expected to happen to me as I grew older...but never thought I'd be doing this.


To Hug or Not To Hug

I'm not much for hugging but the rest of my family was going to make sure that changed


Call Waiting for Godot

i though that at least if it looked like I was waiting for someone, I wouldn't appear so suicidal. That's when it hit me.


A scotch a day

I'm going to tell you the worst kept secret in the world - I like to drink...


In the blink of an eye

You want to watch your entire life pass before you in an instant? Just have kids.

the story behind my dating profile Picture

i was one step away from finishing my online dating profile when I realized that I needed the perfect profile picture...


An Actor's Life for me

I experimented with being a thespian once, but that was back in my college days.


Wilderness chick

when I was writing and submitting serious short fiction, or what I would categorize now as 'shit no one wanted to read' I found a champion of my work on the internet.

fiero is Italian for 'this car sucks'

At first it was great. I had a blond-haired girlfriend who drove a red sports car - I was living a Beach Boys song.

What sent shivers down my spine

I loved going to psychics but this one - this one was different

How an earache sent me to the Hospital

I always put off going to the doctor when something was wrong - but this time I waited just a bit too long


A Christmas tradition

Not all traditions need be repeated.

The world's oldest boy band

Before there was the Backstreet Boys and before there was New Kids on the Block there was B.S.O.H.C.  You never heard of B.S.O.H.C.?  read on...

how my ex-wife acts at sporting events

"hey steinbrenner," I shouted into the stand, "shut up!"


tom waits for no man

who was the inspiration behind 'Jersey girl'?

my ex-wife is a Pain-in-the-ass

I say this with all due respect - My ex-wife is a pain-in-the-ass

back to belmar: A thirty year journey

thirty years after my first time down the shore, I went back.


Champagne lady '58

Before I knew the ins-and-outs of online dating I met Champagne Lady '58

born with an expiration date

Everyone is going to die - the difference is I know when


Ex-marks the spot

My ex-wife and I have a very good relationship - this may be one of the reasons


Second eye-blind

I woke up one day and found myself blind in one eye.


Once bitten twice Arrested

Arrested Not once, but twice

don't waste your favorite song on your first wedding

You must remember this - what song will you use for your second wedding?



Let the spark fly

I love old movies, but I think they have ruined my love life.

The rolling stones: time was not on my side

And then on cue,...a barrage of bottles rained down from the sky.

at least I didn't name anyone alfred

i hate my name - i hated my name my entire life.


a very black friday

i know i'm not going to die in a car accident - i just hope God doesn't take that as a challenge.

What rendered me speechless at work

my first day of work, i was soaked to the skin and couldn't speak a word...

Just wrap yourself in plastic and go

For a good time all you needed was a sheet of plastic, a bottle of blackberry brandy, and a snow covered hill.

Turning down money from god

I think God wants me to be rich - He keeps trying to give me money.


speaking of dive bars

this bar wasn't just a hole-in-the-wall it was where the other hole-in-the-wall bars went to get drunk.


skier's walk of shame

I went twenty-seven years without the desire to ski - I should have gone for twenty-eight.

three word key to greater knowledge

these three words will get you through any conversation.

something in the way they move

After my separation I moved four times and I promised myself after that I would always help anyone move.

Reinventing Christmas after a divorce

My first Christmas after my separation I knew was going to be a tough one - so something would have to change.

A rose by any other name

I was now famous in Iceland - or was I?

five-thousand-and-one first dates

With my online dating profile loaded I just had to sit back and wait

the last supper (no, not that one)

my first holiday dinner with my ex-wife's family was like when i was a kid - And then it wasn't...

may divorce be with you

this is the secret to recapture the days of your youth

it's definitely coming down

its was 1979 and we had a house in seaside and the sky was about to fall down on us

ghosts of the jersey shore

with hurricane sandy swirling outside my house i could only think about my time down the jsersey shore

testing the water in the dating pool

online dating-using the culimination of mankind's Acheivement in order to get laid

When you were born you broke the mold - again

Amazing how three children growing up in the same house could be so different


ten-nine-eight-seven

the day i got engaged was like a countdown - but to what?


boots and sparkle

first thing i have to say is that boots and sparkle are not strippers

if it doesn't kill you i'm not trying hard enough

i have been accused of trying to kill my youngest son - but that's probably not true


smoke gets in your eyes

it should have been a quick subway ride from the graduation to the luncheon - should have been

99 bottles of beer on the wall

the drinking contest that sent me to the hospital

how movies ruined my chance for love

movies taught me that when i fell in love i would know it - movies lied

first round's on me

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