The One Thing People Don’t Tell You About Getting Old
There is one thing people don’t tell you about getting old.
Are you ready to hear it?
The one thing people don’t tell you about getting old is…
...you are going to get old.
And when you get old, your body parts will betray you. Some more so than others (you know who I’m talking to...traitor!)
Your eyesight will go, but that could happen when you are a kid. But when your eyesight starts to fade, it’s expected.
That’s what happens when you get old.
Your back will hurt, your knees will creak, and your neck will make noises when you turn your head.
And the mysterious pain on my right side will be celebrating its seven-year anniversary with me (I believe that is the copper anniversary).
That’s what happens when you get old.
But what they don’t tell you is that more than your body parts will betray you.
I have always had acrophobia (fear of heights) and claustrophobia (fear of small spaces).
Now?
I not only have phobias, but they are on steroids.
Even the most benign objects have become a challenge.
Take stairs, for example. Stairs have turned their back on me.
No longer are stairs simply a means of getting from one floor to another. Now each attempt feels like preparation for a Mt. Everest expedition.
Is there a railing or a wall to steady myself?
Is there a comfortable place to land if I fall?
For the love of God, I once ran bleachers in gym class. Now I’m trying not to fall down and break my neck.
One night at the bar, we sat in a booth. Just the three of us. Then a fourth and fifth person joined the group. I found myself inside the booth, with my right shoulder pressed against the wall. I could feel the walls closing in on me.
I lasted all of two minutes. I made the two guys to my left let me out. I settled in again, this time on the outside, with my left leg living in the aisle.
Like I said: steroids.
A year ago, I celebrated two family birthdays on the same day. I’m not good at birthday gifts, but I’m very good with birthday gift cards. I went into a pharmacy to grab two. At checkout, the young woman behind the counter asked a strange question.
“Did anyone coerce you into buying these cards?”
I was taken aback and replied, “No.”
Then I asked her why.
“There is a scam where older people are being taken advantage of.”
I nodded my head, paid for the cards, and was out in the parking lot when it hit me.
I was one of the “older people” who might be taken advantage of.
One day at my doctor’s office, I was on a table, flat on my back. They did an EKG. After it was done, I went to sit back up.
“Do you need help?” the nurse asked.
“No thanks,” I replied. After all, I’ve been sitting up on my own for most of my life.
Recently, I screwed up my cell phone. It was bad enough that I needed to go to the Apple Store in the mall. Once inside, I found an associate to help me.
“Go to Settings,” he said.
Without hesitation, I hit the icon to open Settings.
The associate looked genuinely surprised and said, “Oh, wow, you knew exactly where it was.”
Then he added, “Good for you!”
What? Did I just go potty for the first time?
But here’s what they also don’t tell you.
I’m out four or more nights a week. I go to trivia, see bands at bars, and attend church on Sundays.
The possibility of romance, even at my age, is still there. I’ve met people of all ages.
I know dozens of people I now call friends. These same people couldn’t have picked me out of a lineup five years ago.
So, what is the one thing people don’t tell you about getting old?
Old ain’t dead.
