Sugar Honey Iced Tea
This post is rated R for harsh and salty language (maybe).
When I talk, I don’t usually curse. When I’m angry or pushed to the edge, I will pepper my outburst with salty language (see what I did there?)
Personally, I have no problem with curse words, as long as they are used effectively. As punctuation in a heated argument. As the punchline to a funny story. Even as a bit of witty alliteration is fine with me:
What the fuckety fuck fuck!
I have a friend, Tammy, who curses like a dock worker in a drunken fight, and it is absolutely adorable.
Once, while in New Hope, PA, I came across a t-shirt that listed the various ways to use the word fuck in the English language.
"Get away from me, you stupid fuck." (Noun)
"Don't fuck up this opportunity." (Verb)
"This is a fucking disaster." (Adjective)
I gave that t-shirt to Tammy for her birthday.
However, not everyone feels comfortable with such liberal language. I wonder what words they use when they feel frustrated or angry.
When I first started working at AT&T in the eighties, my desk was one of a dozen lined up in a communal area, row by row. You couldn’t have a conversation without half the group hearing every word that you spoke.
One day, to my left, my friend Rita accidentally knocked over a glass of water and soaked a pile of papers on her desk.
“Sugar honey iced tea,” Rita exclaimed, then started to clean up the mess.
Sugar honey iced tea?
I asked Rita what she had just said, and she repeated it. I guess she noticed the confused look on my face.
“I don’t like to curse,” was her explanation.
Took me another second before it hit me.
Sugar honey iced tea spells out:
Shit.
Every once in a while, in nonthreatening situations, I mutter “sugar honey iced tea” under my breath.
Sugar honey iced tea was not the only acronym; another one was born that day.
My friend Barbara and I talked about Rita’s clever way of cursing/not-cursing. We decided to make up one of our own. But not just any curse word.
Its the curse word.
After many nonsensical combinations, Barbara and I came up with this, to be used at your own discretion.
My over there hot egg rolls fat ugly chubby kids egg rolls.
I’ll give you a minute to figure it out, but let’s just say...
...Samuel L. Jackson would be proud.
