I Was Today Years Old When I Learned How Old I Was Today
Saturday, September 27th 2025
There are certain things in life that are a given. The sky is blue (even on cloudy days), the sun is hot (even though we can’t touch it), and the New York Football Giants are going to have a losing season (even if we don’t watch them).
If you think knowing your age would slip easily into that group, you’d be wrong.
Of course, you know your own age, but I’ve come to realize the age in your head and the age of your body are typically not the same.
Mirrors give away the secret without even trying. The way our bones creak and strain when we sit or stand is also a telltale sign of our age. However, in our minds, we think we’re in our twenties and can take on the world.
There are other things that challenge that twenty-year-old who lives between my ears—like visits to my family and family gatherings.
By that, I don’t mean that I don’t love my family—I do. What I mean is when the older folks get together, I will eventually be asked…
...do you ever walk into a room and forget why you are there?
...how much fiber do you eat?
...are you regular?
That’s why I like eating at the kids’ table, where the kids are all about the same age as the one in my head.
But after what happened today while out shopping, I can no longer delude myself into thinking I am still a kid.
I had a Chick-fil-A gift card, and since I needed to run a few errands, I headed to Flemington so I could do all three at once.
First, the liquor store (of course, this is Conflict and SCOTCH), then a walk across the parking lot to Walgreens. I needed Amazon gift cards for some upcoming birthdays.
Grab two and head for checkout.
I handed the cards over to the young woman cashier and told her what amounts to apply to each. She then asked me something no other cashier had ever asked when I was buying a gift card:
“Did someone ask you to buy these cards?”
I truly didn’t know how to react, so I answered her in the form of a question.
“No?”
Then I followed up with more questions: “Why? Is there a scam?”
She told me that people get phone calls and are told to pay their bills with gift cards.
“Yes, I’ve heard of that,” I replied. Then I added, “Or they get calls saying their kids—or grandkids—are in jail, and they could use gift cards to get them out on bail.”
I thanked her and thought it was nice that she was warning people about the scam.
I gave her money, and she handed the cards back to me.
“Yeah, mostly the elderly.”
Halfway to my car in the parking lot, I stopped and just started to laugh.
I even told her she was nice for telling people about the scam.
The twenty-year-old living in my head was not happy.
Turns out, to her, I was the elderly.
