Vaudeville Isn't Dead, It's Drinking in the Bar
A good conversation is one of my favorite things. Conversations in bars are even better (just add alcohol).
Nights I want to go out, leave my house to see others instead of just my reflection in the mirror, I need to drive. There are no places to see a band, or people I know, unless I drive a minimum of thirty-minutes from my house.
The other night, went to a bar/restaurant, Willie McBride’s, in Bridgewater, New Jersey (or is it Branchburg? They are like twins I can’t tell apart). With that, I tend to see the same group of faces whenever I go out. And two of those faces are, of course, ex-wife Arlene, and her fiance Dennis (good luck on your twentieth anniversary of being engaged – I hope you kids make it).
I get there a bit early to gain a foothold on the bar. If I have a seat and a spot in front of me at the bar, I’m good.
After a time, the crowd fills in around me. Some faces I know, some I don’t, and some I’m not sure about. Arlene and Dennis eventually show up and, while Arlene mingled, Dennis ordered a Yuengling for himself and a White Claw for Arlene. They only have two flavors of White Claw, Mango and Watermelon, which Dennis knows Arlene would not like. But, they did have a High Noon Seltzer in Black Berry so Dennis orders that.
Arlene returns, looks at her drink, and immediately says, “I don’t want that, its really high in sugar.”
However, after a few minutes, decides she will drink it.
Let me say, Arlene weighs the short side of nothing; alcohol hits her after one drink. She could get drunk watching a beer commercial.
Jump ahead to her second round. Arlene returns to the bar to order another drink. I’m in my spot, next to her brother-in-law, and Arlene steps between us to order her next drink.
The following conversation took place, as best as I can remember, and it went on for way too long.
Bartender: (to Arlene) What can I get you?
Arlene: I want a White Claw.
Bartender: We have Mango and Watermelon.
Arlene: I don’t want that.
Bartender: We have Blackberry.
Arlene: I’ll take that.
(I look at Arlene’s hand and see she is holding a High Noon Blackberry, the drink she said she didn’t want in the first place)
Me: It’s what you have in your hand that you didn’t like.
Arlene: But its a White Claw.
Bartender: No, its High Noon.
Arlene: I don’t want that, I want White Claw.
Bartender: We have that, but either Mango or Watermelon.
Arlene: I don’t want that, I’ll take Blackberry.
Bartender: So Blackberry, that’s High Noon.
Arlene: No, I don’t want High Noon, I want White Claw Blackberry.
Bartender: We don’t have that, we have White Claw Mango or Watermelon.
Arlene: No, I want White Claw Blackberry.
Bartender: We don’t have that…
Even though that’s what they said, all I heard was:
Who’s on first?
Yes, Who’s on first
What is the player’s name on first?
No, What’s on second, Who’s on first..
I Don’t Know
Oh, third base...
Cheers!
